Twenty fifteen was by far the toughest year in my life. Too much was happening in my life and I have to admit; I couldn't cope with the reality. It was the year I hit rock bottom. Like as though I had been thrown into the deep end of the pool and I was drowning. Even though I know how to swim, I just couldn't save myself at the time. I lost myself. I almost gave up on my marriage and everything else. My kids. I distanced myself from the people I loved. I lost hope and I almost gave up trying to find it.
Oh, Allah is Most Merciful.
It's His Promise.
Slowly, slowly I picked myself up and started rebuilding my life. I found a new perspective. Found positivity. Found confidence. Found love again. Found knowledge. I don't know how. I don't know when. But I know it's His doing. He put me in the direction I was desperate for. He put the right people in my path. His angels looked out for me in ways I will never know. I have Him to thank and prostrate to.
When you feel like you're being tested, know that one day things will be OK. Things will get better. Things will be different, in a good way. It will feel like you're stuck in a rut. Like you're never going to get out of that situation. Like you're the only one going through it. All you want to do is bury yourself somewhere and hide, forever. You want to runaway from all your problems and never come back to face them. As much as it's so easy to succumb to these feelings and thoughts, know that Allah (swt) has promised a way out for you. Allah (swt) loves you and He loves you so much He wants you to call on Him, to beg Him for forgiveness, to remember Him and to reach out to Him, even by a footstep. He will come to you, running. It's hard to see it. But He is there.
Watching over you.
Don't lose hope.
Never give up trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Because even though you can't see it right now, it is there.