I start off by glorifying our Creator, by thanking Him for His limitless generosity for having blessed our family with a baby girl earlier in the week. After spending what seemed like an eternity in hospital, we finally came home last night. Alhamdulilahi rabbil alamin.
On the way home, I was struck by the post-natal blues. Yes, I was so excited to be home. Looking forward to being in my own comfort zone yet at the same time I was terrified of what was ahead of me. What obstacles would I be faced with and whether I was able to cope with them. I wondered how I was going to handle it all; the chores; the 3 kids under 2.5; the demands of a newborn; the duties as a wife and mother and so many more. I asked Allah swt to make it easy for me and to help me be patient.
Upon entering the house, I noticed the piles of dishes left unwashed, the food scraps on the pans, the unfolded clothes. Normally, I would have broken out in anger and complained about all the things that needed to be done. But not yesterday. Yesterday I cried. I cried because I wasn't there to feed my husband and kids, I cried because they had to fend for themselves while I was away, I cried because I couldn't fulfil my duties for them. Even though sometimes I get frustrated at the amount of things a woman had to do in the household, yesterday I actually accepted and acknowledged my role and responsibility as a wife and mother. Since I'm recovering from a c-section, there's only so much I can do. I am left feeling helpless for not being able to do the simple things at home. On the other hand, this inability to do what I want/need has made me really appreciate any amount of help I receive. It's made me realised how blessed I am to have my family and husband for support. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful husband who does things without complaints. He tolerates my childish behaviours and still remains patient with me. Oh how could I thank him and thank Allah for His bountiful blessings.
I used to admire some sisters for the hardships they're being tested through. I always wondered what they have done and why they are so loved by Allah swt to be experiencing such trials. A test on their iman and patience, they successfully achieve. I wondered if Allah swt loved me the same way too. Now I'm beginning to think that He does indeed. Even though your trial may not be the same as others, it is specifically designed for you and you only. The hardships we all are undergoing - regardless of how significant it is, it is targeted at only one direction- to bring us back to Him. So yes, He does love you in your own special way, which is why we all are going through some form of difficulty in one way or another. And in each trial, there are lessons to be learnt and implemented.
This post is dedicated to my loving husband and family. May Allah swt accept from you, grant you the best in his life and the next and unite us in the hereafter.