Saturday, October 18, 2014

life of an introvert

I've spent the last few months deactivating and activating my facebook account, going on and off every once in a while just to get updated on the latest news and find out what's going on. Basically, I've been living in a shell, in my own world and I kind of like it that way. I've learnt a few things about myself and people but for the most part, I'm still figuring who I am and who I want to be. If only people knew, that I still think of them, all the time. I just don't show it that often. 

I know I am an introvert. Heck, the test my friend made me do the other day indicates that I am about 74% introvert. Although I can be an extrovert when I want to be. However, I realised that I am most contented when I'm behind the spotlight. Being on my own watching the world go by. Observing people and things and what I make of it. I keep my thoughts to myself and for this, I know I get mistaken for being judgemental. But really, I have too much going on in my head. I find when I'm in a group of people and getting overly excited in a conversation that I start to lose myself. Talking over people, that's not me. Saying things on impulse, that's not me. That's not how anyone should be. This is how we fall into the trap when we are talking too much, with the wrong people. We get involved in backbiting or slandering without realising then, only after. We say things we regret even though it may not seem like such a big thing but we regret it because that's not who we are. 
What happened to thinking before speaking? 

Not being active on Facebook made me realise that I don't need to publicize my life to everyone. That I don't want to be attention seeking. That I should be humble and a Muslim should be humble.