As I mentioned in the previous post, a lot has happened in the last year but the biggest thing that happened to me was giving birth to beautiful twin boys, mashaAllah tabarakAllah. Like I said, you wouldn't believe! Sometimes, I don't either. I have moments (plenty of those) where I'm just thinking "SubhanAllah, I'm a Mum....how did that happen?"
Life for me at the moment is joyous, exhausting, momentous, repetitive, fast-paced, exciting, unpredictable, frustrating...like a non-stop roller coaster ride. And all I have to say is Alhamdulilah ala kulli hal, All praise be to Allah in all circumstances. I would not change it for the world. They are both a blessing and a test for me. A great test on my patience. I'm not going to lie. There have been times when I've lost it, when I just wanted to walk away, times when I wanted a moment without kids, when I thought it was all getting too much for me...and then, a new day begins. When I see the smile on their faces, I forget about everything else. I forget about the fear of raising twins in this day and age, I forget about how terrified I was about giving birth, I forget about the pain and heartaches, I forget that I had lost my patience with them the night before. It all disappears in that moment. Allah (The Exalted) has instilled love and mercy in mothers that even after a tough day, she is able to forget all about it and do it all over again the next day. Subhan'Allah. May Allah (swt) have mercy on my mother and all believing mothers in the world.
This time last year, they were growing in my tummy. Now, they're almost 6 months old (tomorrow!). Masha'Allah. That, to me is the biggest miracle of all. How people can ignorantly believe that they are the ones creating a human in the womb, I do not know. It makes me burn inside when I hear couples say "Look at what we've made" when holding their newborn. SubhanAllah, how dare they think that! Please enlighten me on how you "created" that tiny little human being inside you. You did nothing but carry your child in your womb for 9 months and then take all the credit for it. I don't understand how people still cannot believe in a God after experiencing the miracles of childbirth. They have totally been blinded from the truth.
For me, it was always a boost in emaan whenever I went for my ultrasounds. Of course, the first one was more of a shock than anything else. I still remember crying out loud in the room, "Noooooooooooo, what?! Are you serious?!" when she saw the two sacs and immediately said "Oh, you're having twins!" without any warning what-so-ever. My husband's face was, well, priceless. He he. At 20 weeks, all their main organs were formed (eyes, ears, hands, fingers etc) and to be able to see that on the screen was absolutely amazing. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Oh Allah, I do not know how to thank you for your countless blessings. Please, I ask you to allow me to do my best to look after what you have entrusted upon me and to forgive me for my shortcomings.
Till next time, insha'Allah.