Saturday, October 22, 2011

Eye of the tiger.

Okay, I gotta be honest. I have a tendency to daydream, a lot. When I say 'a lot', I really do mean every single day without fail. Sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it until the person speaking to me snaps me out of the moment. It's a bad habit, I know. Although I can't really say I hate it because every girl likes to fantasize once in a while, right? My problem is that I do it way too often. And most of the time it's about the dunya. The things I want to do, the things I did, the things I could have done, the things I love doing, the things I see myself doing and it goes on. If it's not about me, it's someone else. Especially now that my eyes are set on a target, I find my passion for it growing bigger and bigger every time it crosses my mind or when someone brings it up, so it's hard not let myself get caught up in 'what could be'. 

Picture this. Take the one thing you love doing so much. Be it writing, photography, cooking, debating, exercising, memorizing whatever. When you're doing it, it makes you happy. You smile. You're at ease. It brings joy in your life. You feel peaceful, even for a moment. Because it means so much to you, you want to share it with the world. You want to make something happen with it. Something big. But...it's a life-long dream. Things like these usually require a lot of hard work, patience and most importantly, dua. Surely, we all know that success doesn't just happen overnight. Oh how I wish it did. 

And then you realise your real purpose in life. Your five daily prayers, your morning and evening zhikr, your Quran, your tahajjud, your fasting, your seeking knowledge, your death all brings you back to Allah and a pang of guilt rush through your body. You feel weak for wanting this life more than the hereafter. You feel like you've failed yourself and your Creator. You feel like you've wasted too much time dreaming about this world so much so that your hereafter terrifies you. You feel like you're not deserving of Jannah. You're almost giving up hope. So you repent. You cry.

Not long after, this dunya consumes you again and you forget about the reality of life. You're back at square 1. 

Now my question is, how do you know that this dream you're having is worth chasing after? Do you ever think that you're forsaking your hereafter by working for this life? Or are you juggling both? I'm sure we can do both, no? 

...of course, it's only common sense to let it go if it takes you away from the remembrance of Allah and makes you forget your purpose in life. 


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”Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you. Until you visit the graves” (Qur’an 102:1-2)

3 comments:

  1. oh look who's back! alhamdulillah. and yes you are a day dreamer lol!

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  2. Salam sister. I have your blog in my bookmarks and I happened to click on it today and was so happy to see you're back. writing. I love your thoughts and how you put them into words. what you said above is surprisingly a carbon-copy of what's lurking in my mind. mashaAllah. I got caught up with daydreaming too and sometimes i think its satan's trapped to keep me away from doing things i'm supposed to be doing to get closer to Him. How do you overcome this kind of habit though?

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  3. CremeBrulee: Wa alaykum assalam. Alhamdulilah what a coincidence! :) Hmm...it would be easier said that done if i were to advice you (and myself) how to overcome it. I think it's human nature for us all to procrastinate and what happens when we procrastinate is we seek the dunya. We find all these excuses and tell ourselves that we can do pray, read quran (etc) later. What we put first are our daily tasks that we deem to be more important than our ibadah...it's sad really. It's a constant struggle everyday to fight Shaytan and to be on top of things. I guess the best way would be to surround yourself with good company who remind you of Allah and the akhirah. Try listening to a lot of lectures - especially lectures about the hereafter because death is truly and the only wake up call. Whatever you're doing, think to yourself, "Am I spending my time productively?", "What am I doing to help me on the DOJ?" etc etc always be mindful of Allah and insha'Allah He will be on your eyes, your hands, your ears...so if you fall, He will help you rise back up.
    Of course I'm advising myself first before others and I pray that Allah (swt) helps us in overcoming Shaytan and be firm on the straight path, ameen.

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