Thursday, October 27, 2011

Allah (swt) has better plans for you.

That's what I keep reminding myself.

A couple weeks ago we applied for Hajj through the Muslim World League. For those who don't know, this organisation sponsors Hajj packages for reverts (you only have to pay for your airfare and they cover everything else, from what I've been told). As a wife of a Catholic-born-Italian husband, I also get to tag along and be covered by them. Initially, the brother informed us that we had a pretty good chance of getting accepted, even though we put in our application quite late (less than two months before Dhu'l-Hijjah). After weeks and weeks of endless waiting (Hajj is all about the waiting game, isn't it?), last night we finally got our answer. 

Turns out they had no more room for a couple left. 
Either my Man goes by himself, or we both go next year insha'Allah. Next year it is. 
Of course I felt what any normal believer would feel; disappointed. sad. lost. confused. 
I cried thinking "Why doesn't Allah (swt) want to invite me?" "It's because I don't deserve His forgiveness, isn't it?" "I should have done more...made more dua..."
But these thoughts are all from Shaytan. 

I remember telling my Man before we found out that if we don't end up going, we shouldn't feel let down. It doesn't end here. Life keeps on going and we have to keep up with it. The truth is it has already been written for us not to go this year.

"No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's Decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.'' 
(Umar ibn al-Khattab r.a)

There is always a reason behind His wisdom. A reason behind any hardship or calamity that befalls us. A reason behind a blessing. A reason behind everything. We might not understand it right this moment, but we will understand why sometime in the future insha'Allah. 

One day I will look back and say "Alhamdulilah. I see it now." 

7 comments:

  1. Totally agree. Maybe Allah (swt) has better plans for you this year :). I know it's like, what must be better than hajj?! But maybe it's better for you to go next year, who knows!

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  2. Subhanallah. such a great post. I spend too much time dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. Ive to go easy on myself and live in the present. All the best to you in dunya and akhirat :)

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  3. Misha: Only Allah (swt) knows, alhamdulilah! :)

    Anisah: JazakAllah khair sis. Same to you my dear!

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  4. Asalamu 'alaykum,

    Great post mashaAllah. Sometimes we really want something (rather it's good or not)and we don't get it. But perhaps, there is reason behind it, Allah swt knows of that. :) May Allah give you and your husband the opportunity to go to hajj next year and may it be of great benefit. Ameen! <3

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  5. assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi t3ala wabarakatuhu,
    Im really sorry to hear that sister, but inshaALLAH t3ala there must be something better written for you instead, you never know the wisdom of ALLAH t3ala. may ALLAH t3ala call you to his sacred house when its the best for you and your husband, aameen. Btw, I love your blog.

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  6. U will go in shallah

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  7. I went with my husband and two daughters and my mum. My elder daughter is aged nines years old and the yonger one is six months.we went to umrah for two weeks it was mind blowing. I prayed to allah to give me a baby and that i will go and do my umrah and take my baby with me. We had no money to really go but as my daughter told every body at school that we going we planed and marshalah sent my babies pasport off it came back within five days. We went to umrah after three weeks. U only go with the will of allah that's all. Not with money.

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